No Drug Trial for me!

As you are all aware of yesterday I was to start the clinical drug trial well I won't be, I have been declined as a candidate for this.  I knew as soon as Dr. Kapoor entered the room that I would not be able to be part of the trial and when he spoke Doug and I thought oh no they found something on my lungs but fortunately it was not my lungs, liver or pancreas.  My CT scan showed that I have two enlarged lymph nodes on my left side near my left kidney.  Now Dr. Kapoor has said that he is pretty confident that it is not cancer and that it could be residual effects from having surgery, or they have caught some cancer cells and they are fighting them off or I could have a bug and they are enlarged because of this.  So what this all boils down to is no drug trial because I will have past the 12 week of being able to be part of the trial,  I will be having a CT scan at the end of June and will get the results at the beginning of July, so now we wait to see.  If the next scan shows that they have reduced in size I will then have CT scans every 3 months and if they are still enlarged I will be put on the drug that I was going to be taking for the drug trial.
I am so relieved and thankful that the scan showed nothing on my lungs or other organs this being said I am disappointed that I will not be part of the drug trial but when life throws a curve at you then you have to just go with the flow.  I am not going to sit and stew about what if because I have to many things to look forward to this year, we will be taking Alex to Peterborough so that he can begin his post secondary education in Police Foundations, we will be empty nesters come September and in November Melanie will be presenting us with our first grandchild.
One thing I have learned from this journey is to expect the unexpected.  Things never seem to go as planned when you are diagnosed with cancer.

First Scan and the Waiting Game begins again:(

Well yesterday was a long day. When I arrived for me scan I found out that they were two hours behind! My scan was suppose to be at 1:30 which would have given me enough time to grab something to eat before going for my going for my blood work and clinic appt. By 2:25 I was panicking, I had not had my scan and I needed to be over at the Juravinski cancer centre next door for my next two appts by 2:45. I asked the nurses who were getting patients ready for their scans if they could call the clinic to let them know that they were running behind, the nurse that I asked was a snot and gave me some attitude. I called them myself. I was able to make it on time for my clinic appointment but not my blood work but after my appointment I was able to have it done. I have to return tomorrow to have an ECG and all of these tests will be sent to the Pharmacuetical company conducting the drug trial to ensure I am eligible to start the trial. I have to wait two before I find out if I can start the drug trial. I will also get the results from the scan then, so I am a bit anxious having to wait to find out if my lungs and liver are clear of any mets to these organs. I can only keep my fingers crossed and pray that the cancer has not metastasized to these organs but the goods news if it has I will go immediately on a drug that is successful with dissolving these tumors. Until then I will wait... I start back to work today and I am not sure if I want to go back. Physically I am ready to go back, mentally I just haven't got my head around it. I better soon I will be leaving for work in about a hour and a half.

Week Eight and Our Family Vacation

I believe this was the best healing week ever!  Doug took us to Florida for a family vacation where we could take time to regroup and catch our breath before we have to deal with the next year.
The sun and sand was perfect.  We had excellent weather and am so glad we were able to do this.  We spent four days on the beach doing nothing but enjoying the water and sun.  We went to Busch Gardens where we fed Giraffes and Wallabees.  I must be feeling like my old self and the healing process is well under way.  I rode two and only two roller coasters.  It was worth feeling a little sore afterward.  Did some shopping which was fun.  Doug bought me my early Mother's Day present a Pandora Bracelet, with three charms - mom, a giraffe and a lots of love.  I have the most thoughtful husband. 
My Mom is a very supportive and caring person, she came down to watch our dogs Millie and Abbey so they did not have to go into a Kennel even though she was not feeling all that great. 

I have noticed that my right side around the incision site feels like it pinches sometimes and this is apparently part of the healing process.  My stomach no longer looks swollen it is almost back to normal.  I did not have any naps this week but I was in bed most nights by 9:30pm. 

Tomorrow I go for my fist part of stating the clinical trial drug.  I will have my scan, blood work and see the clinical nurse.  Hopefully the scan will be clear so I can be part of the drug trial. 
I start work on Wednesday this week and I am not sure if I want to go back.  I think retirement is looking really good right now but I can't seem to convince work that they should continue to pay me to stay home. lol 

I will let everyone know how things go tomorrow.