Great Early Christmas Present!

Yesterday I finally was given the best early Christmas Present - I am officially Cancer Free!!!.  After two longs months of waiting after having my last scan which was at the beginning of October and might I add a bit devastating having to wait patiently for two long whole months I was once again relieved to hear that there is no evidence of disease NED in my world.  I feel on top of the world today and am pleased to say that instead of going back in six months for a scan and check up I can go back in a year.

HURRAY!!!

Now just some interesting finding that came out of the latest scan the lymph nodes around the liver are still enlarged but it is not because of the surgery or cancer related but it could be because I have a chronic Liver disease - fatty liver well so what I have a fatty butt too lol  When the doctor asked me if I was a heavy drinker I laughed and told him I am usually cut off after one drink.  All kidding aside I must exercise more, watch my diet and a watch my alcohol intake.  Well this is kind of hard when I go down to Punta Cana those Majestic slushy drinks, the Sambuca just seem to appear before me and of course I can't be rude and not drink them.   I am also going to make an appointment to see my physician to see if anything else is going on because my mom has been battling Primary Billary Cirrhois for years and no this was not caused by alcohol abuse it is in fact a auto immune disease.

Wishing everyone good health and happiness especially during this Christmas season.
Hugs

All clear again!

On May 13th had a cat scan and the results today May 14th were great!  Melanie and Charlotte my good luck charms went with me for my follow up visit with Dr. Kapoor this afternoon.  I am so happy to report that there is NED (no evidence of disease).  All is clear!  The lymph nodes around the liver are still a little enlarged but in Dr. Kapoor says I a not to worry, so I will do my best not too!  I have way much to much to live for!  Next scan September until then much health and happiness to you.

My One Year Anniversary

Today marks my one year anniversary of being Cancer free!!!  I am not sure where the year has gone and I am so glad I am able to write this posting because I know of two fellow kidney cancer warriors who lost their courageous battle this year:(
Things that I am so grateful for…
Having the best surgeon take care of me last year so that I can still be here to enjoy life with my family and friends especially our new grand daughter – Charlotte.
Having the most loving and caring husband-Doug who stood by me through this cancer and having the compassion to make a doctor's appointment to have me signed out of work so that I could properly heal.
Having my children who remind me everyday of how much they love me and remind me that I am not going anywhere because I have too much nagging to do.
Having my blood pressure remain on the low side because most often persons who loose a kidney suffer from high blood pressure.
Having met some great folks from Kidney Cancer Canada who have supported me and I in return have supported them.
I have been able to scratch an item off my bucket list…the slingshot at Canada’s Wonderland.  I think that I would however like to take it for another spin.   
Having two wonderful, strong, courageous role models my Grandma Abbott (who battled cancer) and my Mom (who has lived with Primary Biliary Cirrohis - liver disease for the past 16 years).  They have taught me how to face and battle this dreadful disease.
Things that I have learnt this year…
To stop and take care of myself once in a while because the world around me does not stop just because I do.   (I still think it might)
Humor is still my best friend and without it I really don’t know how I would have coped through this cancer scare. 
It is ok to lose your super woman powers because you can always find a new super woman cape to wear.
I love being a Grandma!!! This new role is truly one the most amazing experience I have ever had especially having the privilege of witnessing the birth of Charlotte.
Melanie is a wonderful new mom and that Charlotte is a very lucky little girl. 
Alex can cope and survive just fine while he is away going at school and that I truly miss him when he is not home.
One should never try to mop the floors after only two weeks after surgery that dam bucket might fall over spilling water everywhere which takes forever to clean up. 
I have a great group of friends especially the girls who I paint with every week we all had a rough year and I know that without this night it would have been an even more difficult year with out all of you. 
Things that I would I would like to do this year…
Just Enjoy Life!
Enjoy celebrating Doug’s and my 25^th Wedding anniversary in October.  We will be going to Disney World to start the celebration by going back to our honeymoon spot and no Doug I am not wearing the Tinker Bell costume lol  We wanted to celebrate our 25^th by doing a Mediterranean cruise but with the unrest over in that area we will do smaller trips and enjoying them just as much.
Last but not least try to not get scanxiety before my May Cat scan and Doctor’s appt to find out the result of the scan.  Sometimes this is easier said than done.  

Wishing all readers of my blog much health and happiness.
Hugs

The Cape is on and I am back

Well after the last time I had wrote I wasn't ever sure that I would or could say that I feel better than ever!  I have found my super woman powers and although they are definitely not what they used to be, I do possess them once again.  I just realized as I sit here writing that I am holding and cuddling my new super power source - Charlotte.  Family and friends don't worry I am not gonna wear those silly tight ass super hero costumes because then I would just look plain silly and would embarrass my family greatly, wait a minute I do love to embarrass them.
 My three month hiatus from work was exactly what I needed even though I hate to admit that Doug was right. lol  He really did me a favour by taking me to the doctors to get some much needed time off.   These three months gave me time for me which may sound selfish but it was my saving grace.  I hated work, I was miserable and I definitely was not me. I was able to spend time with Doug that I needed to because without him I would not have made it emotionally through this last cancer scare.  I spent a lot of time with Melanie before our beautiful grand daughter Charlotte was born.  I was given an extra special gift from Melanie and Brendon when they asked me to be in the labor room with them.  I thought the experience of giving birth to our two children was awesome I can't describe how truly blessed I was to watch our daughter give birth to her first child.   I have been able to spend a lot of time with Charlotte that I would not have been able to had I been working and for this I will be forever grateful.
Tomorrow I go back to work.  How do I feel?  Anxious, two weeks ago I was ready to go back but today I am not sure probably just the thought of getting up early and having to face that cold dark morning is turning me off.   I wonder if work would mind if I went in an hour late.  lol   I must say at least I don't have to get into a cold car, once again Doug saved me by having  a car starter put in my car last year.


Wishing everyone a healthy year
Hugs
Denise

Things can only get better from here!

Well after much anxiety since my scan last month I received some great news yesterday from Dr. Kapoor,  my lymph nodes have started to decrease in size and I have been given my membership card to Club N.E.D.  which is an exclusive club that gives us cancer patients the privilege to say that there is No Evidence of Disease!.  I say this through a heavy sigh relief and a happy tears.   My next scan will be in April of next year and results will be in May! 
 
While many may say "see I told you that you had nothing to worry about" or "I told you everything would be fine" that does alleviate the anxiety or thought process that one goes through when dealing with the fear of having the results given to you after a scan in fact for the person dealing with cancer or any disease for that matter it sometimes feels like what you are going through is trivialized.  I know most of us don't know what to say to someone who has been diagnosed with a life threatening disease but instead of saying anything at all just listen to your family member or friend to truly understand what it is like to be in that person's shoes.   I hope I have not offended anyone in this paragraph and if I have I do apologize if I have but I felt it was important to say after being at a Patient/Caregiver Connect Meeting last evening hosted by Kidney Cancer Canada  discussing How we can treat & You can cope with Kidney Cancer Better.  

With all of that being said I truly value all the love and support I have received and continue to received through my journey with Kidney Cancer. 

Hugs
Denise

Hitting the Wall of Reality

It has been six months since my surgery, eleven months since my diagnosis and I thought that I have been dealing with this but apparently not.  I have discovered recently my super woman powers have failed me and I have hit the wall of reality.  I have turned into a emotional and mental wreck. Physically I am fine as of right now unless I am told otherwise at my next specialist appointment in November, I just had my six month CT scan this week.  I guess I have had one too many losses in the past year.  First with the passing of my dad, then just a few months later my diagnosis with kidney cancer and the lastly our kids moved out.  Melanie first (thank God she is close) and Alex moved to Peterborough to go to school.  I am looking forward to seeing and holding our granddaughter and the thought of her is what keeps me going!  I don't think the reality of the passing of my dad hit me until this past summer when one day I looked in my review mirror saw my eyes and thought I will never see my dad's blue eyes again and then cried all the way to work.  I know that I used work as my escape but with the changes that are occurring there and the way I was beginning to unravel I was not coping.
Last week my husband finally had enough and made me go to see our family doctor, where we discussed how I have been emotionally, mentally and feeling physically.   I can say I am so glad I have Doug watching out for me, I know I have a great loving and supportive husband.  A good nite sleep seems to be a thing of the past, I used to stress eat but even the thought of eating some days makes me nauseated.    After hearing of my inability to cope with things he signed me out of work for two to three months.  I was told it was time to finally take care of me and that in order to do this I have to put me first which I find very difficult to do.  
After being signed out of work at first I thought I was a failure but I actually feel like a huge weight has been lifted off.  I said to my mom that I felt like a loser for being signed out of work but she said that it took more courage to admit to not being able to cope.  Sometimes our mom’s are so smart and I am so glad I have her.  Since then many family and friends have told me that they were shocked that I did not take any time off after my diagnosis or more time after surgery.  In hind sight I wish I had because maybe I would not be where I am today. 
So for now I am recharging my super woman powers so that I can be ready to deal with whatever comes my way.  Plus I am going to need my energy when our little Charlotte is born as I am often reminded that I am 50.

I am in the Clear!

I was given some great news today!!! SCAN was clear!!! I feel like I am on top of the world. The lymph nodes are still enlarged which is in all likeliness due to the trauma of the surgery. I now have to take care of my little ovary that started this roller coaster ride because apparently the cyst is back. Dr. Kapoor my doctor wants me to go see my gynecologist so tomorrow I will make an appointment. Thank you to all my family and friends for your love and support during this time. Hugs to you all!